One discovers the light in darkness, that is what darkness is for; but everything in our lives depends on how we bear the light. It is necessary, while in darkness, to know that there is a light somewhere, to know that in oneself, waiting to be found, there is a light.
-James Baldwin
When I sat down and allowed myself to feel the resistance, there was tension in my heart. A tiny well of emotion sprang up. I took a few deep breaths and allowed myself to feel it. I moved into the resistance, rather than away from it (finally!). The “I can’t”s and the “I don’t want to”s arose. Still, I sat with it. I allowed myself to soften into the tension, the resistance, and got to know it.
-from my journal
The subconscious is where all our long-term memories, beliefs, and habits are stored, and quite often, our subconscious is running a program that says, “It’s not safe to let this go yet.” Sound familiar? While the conscious mind is giving us the green light, our subconscious is flashing a bright red light. It’s like having a foot on the gas pedal while pressing down on the brake. The car can’t move forward. Unless our conscious and subconscious minds are working together, not much progress will be made.
In human terms, resistance is the opposition that a person offers to the flow of life force energy. What is life force energy? Life force energy refers to a concept, often found in spiritual and holistic practices, which describes a universal energy believed to flow through all living things, and is considered the essential force that sustains life and promotes health. It’s sometimes called "chi" in Chinese culture, "prana" in Hinduism, or "ki" in Japanese. In many spiritual and yogic traditions, "life force" is closely linked to our breath, with the Sanskrit term "prana" representing both the breath and the vital energy that sustains life, meaning that, in this context, our breath can be seen as a manifestation of our life force.
Resistance, whether physical, emotional, or mental, acts as a blockage to the natural flow of life force energy, essentially draining our vitality and hindering our ability to fully experience life, leading to feelings of stagnation, exhaustion, and a lack of fulfillment; the more we resist, the more energy is used to maintain that resistance, leaving us less available for other aspects of life. This can manifest physically as tension, tightness, or discomfort in the body, depending on the nature of the resistance. Emotional resistance, like holding onto anger or resentment, can also significantly drain our energy and impede our ability to connect with others. Constantly battling against our own thoughts and beliefs, like self-doubt or perfectionism, can lead to extreme mental fatigue and deplete our life force. By hindering the flow of energy, resistance can negatively affect our overall health, creativity, and sense of well-being.
Working with resistance is gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work
in those moments when life, shame, and sorrow occlude our own light
from view, but please know there’s still a clear-eyed loving person to
beam it back. In our best moments we are that person for ourselves,
and others.
Resistance is a call to action. That’s why it feels uncomfortable. It reflects the two energies pulling apart from each other within us: the energy that wants to grow and transform, and the energy that wants to stay the same and be safe. Most of the time, we prefer to choose what is safer and more comfortable – the familiar, the habitual, the least risky. But our inner self beckons to us – something is happening, something is ready to open, to grow, and we need to make space for it. We need to be willing to change. If we want to evolve as human and spiritual beings, we need to heed the call of resistance.
Five steps for working through resistance:
Welcome it.
See it. Hear it. Thank it for protecting you.
Befriend it. Team up with it. Consider how you and resistance can work together for your common good.
Converse with it. Ask it what it needs to know or be reassured of to move forward. What “next step” or action would feel safe and supportive?
Honor it. Never force the resistance or try to skip ahead without all aspects of you feeling fully on board. Honor the resistance by allowing it the space, care, and attention that you perhaps didn’t receive when you were a child. When we honor resistance and what it’s trying to tell us, we begin building new and important layers of trust.
When we encounter or intuitively sense resistance, it’s an indication to slow down and stop, look both ways, delve deeper and tease out the cause of the resistance. Resistance lets us know there is a deeper layer or different aspect to ourselves that needs more attention and healing before we can proceed. By addressing the underlying cause of resistance, we bring both conscious and subconscious goals into alignment. We can begin afresh.
The following are a few journal writing prompts that may help you get started writing about emotional resistance, its resulting pain, and other possibilities:
What are the pain points in your life right now?
What are you resisting, and why?
What are you holding onto? How does holding onto that idea or thing serve you?
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you release your resistance?
What’s the best thing that could happen if you release your resistance?
What do you have to be grateful for in this moment, and how do you feel after you write about your gratitude?
Mary Daniel is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach dedicated to the pursuit of good health for everyone. Through her business, Your One Precious Life, she partners with clients and communities and in the spirit of collaboration, paves the way for health transformations.
Interested in a free health consultation? Visit: www.youronepreciouslife.com or email mary@youronepreciouslife.com.
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